Tantra - the journey begins here and the way is fraught with dangers and tribulations...

Shall I quit?

Do I still realize the necessity of escaping from reality and enter the realms of surreal where one can be rich, powerful and famous? Do I still enjoy the game despite the existence of tumultuous players and the unprecedented change of events by game admins? Do I still value the harmonious rapport with friends and foes even some of them still cloaked in anonymity?

About three years ago, Tantra became my substance induced psychosis. Like a real heroin dispersed in my nerves, I could hardly get some rest without playing. Days will not end without saying the words "levelicious" or "krumalicious". At some point in time I became rich, powerful and famous. I became a legend in my own lifetime. Indeed, the game is surely a great sweet escape from reality. In leveling, I gather friends and in wars, I collected foes. It is the fight alone that pleases me not the accumulation of rupiahs, high master points or possessing rare sets of armors and weapons. A game that invokes such human emotions like fear, animosity, care and love mirrors our society. It might be just an ordinary game to someone but I think it is also a game of pretense. Reality is that we are still animals driven by our primal instincts - kill or be killed, fear or be feared. Run and you may live, die and you may re-spawn.

I have changed god and transferred from ashram to ashram. Met new friends and cherished old ones. Friends became foes and foes became friends, an endless cycle of trust and camaraderie. And lately, who would have thought that enemies would turned into lovers. I used to be a Brahman and she a Shivan. when my badge changed from yellow to blue, we became friends and shared a closeness nobody knew. We have loved intimately and dangerously. Then, like the game's ups and downs, twists and turns, we are back as foes again.

Sad but true...